I have a couple of things to offer Hackerspace. Well one’s a question, so maybe not an offering. I don’t know. I’ll start with it.

Is there a simple machine I can use at home, that will let me deal with a *tiny* TINY amount of blubber in the belly and the legs?

I would prefer to tackle this problem at home, not at a gym. I think I know a place that might have such equipment, but if someone(s) here could name the most suitable hardware, I’d appreciate it. I’d want to place this thing, whatever it is, in a back bedroom or maybe a corner of the kitchen (not sure) and work out with some kind of music going. The music is something else I’ll choose later. But I could use the home gear, preferably one piece of gear, or something that can assemble easily.

Help?


Next, I have a hard tip to follow. Damn’d hard, but therapeutic. It’s not new, but it’s rarely acted upon in our narcissistic world. I certainly don’t act on it very often.

I got festering mad at someone for forgetting my birthday. Other years, there’d be a call or a card. This year, not even an email or text.

I look at it and I think I see that I could have headed this off before it even started, by flipping my anger over on its face, and explain to the other person, that they are key in my world, and I need to hear from them. I could have said maybe “I’d be so glad to talk to you on my birthday but it would be better if you could initiate the talk.”

I could have done that instead of what I did. I sent a sulky email and then went quiet, thinking that’s it, I’m done with them. They don’t remember me on my birthday? They’re not worth it. <— That worked, for the first day of my tantrum-word embargo cycle of behavior.

But then I started to feel sick and ashamed, that I’d closed the door on someone key, so to speak. I’ve done this before, and it has cost me health, cost me well-being, cost me friends, even some family members whom I don’t hate.

The thing is I can’t afford to close off the way I did with this person who exists in my (real) world. I get poorer and poorer in people every year, for one reason or another. Sometimes they move away, or wander off, or they pass on, or like in this case, I push them away with my angry words.

I can’t get those latter people back. But I really feel I have to stop the draining off of those who are left. I am dead if I don’t have some forms of people networks to sustain me, and hopefully help them as well.

I said sorry. That was first, becuase I knew it was my mistake, the way I came at them from a sort of left field. I gave no other hints that I was mad, except in that one pouty email.

I think the tip is this. Don’t close doors. If you can ask somebody to forgive you, and if you can forgive them, two people are set free. Even if you don’t talk much beyond that, there’s no toxin to carry around.

Like I said, it’s not easy. I have a lot of ego, a lot of pride, but they are hopefully being crumbled to powder over time. It seems to me that I can’t have them for company, and expect to get or stay healthy and happy in my little world.

tl;dr: Say sorry if you feel you should, if it nags at you. Get it over with. It’s relieving. You don’t have to haul around some grudge that eats at you, while it insists that you were the one in the right. That is no friend.