I have some really mixed feelings about tomorrow, Friday that is. I finally nailed down an appointment to get the surgery to help fix a pinched nerve that I’ve been *****ing about for over a year.

But I am so damn tempted to lie my way into staying home even though that’s not really in my best interests. They say I’ll be out in one or two nights over.

Depending on the minute, I’m either sick with worry or plotting to stay home, which means the same thing.

However, if I *do* nerve up and go, I am going to start really draining my mobile data, in case the stupid ****** hospital has no/insecure wifi. I have to pass the time somehow. I’ll need youtube. I’ll need some audio books, assuming I’m feeling like doing anything after they’re done with me.

I’m already packed to go, or to stay. What makes this such a big deal is that I’ve never had surgery ever, not for tonsils, not for appendix, not for nothin. I am hoping for the best but I am sitting here conjuring up bad scenarios.

I had an appointment for this wednesday but the surgeon had to cancel. I was braced up for Wednesday, not for the coming Friday. So I don’t adjust well. Because somebody broke the timetable in my head.

I just don’t want to be conscious for any of this, everything before after and during the procedure. I don’t want to know about any of it. I’d rather just have myself knocked unconscious right now, then woken up after I came back home.

After this is all over, I will surely have gathered up some tips for other first-time victims of surgery. Patients. : )