I use a text-to-speech program called ReadPlease. It is old and hasn’t seen updates in years. But I try to keep its word pronunciation list up to date and sounding as close to correct as possible. A lot of time has been invested in this, so much that it would be a chore to adopt a newer program and give it the same training.

Sometimes, more often than I like, some clown on some forum will post something like... “ if M$ would just admit that its os is shit, the world would be a beter place...”

No matter how many times some stinkfinger does this, I remain touchy, and I get bristled up. I am a PC. And I know what Windows is and isn’t, have known this for over 25 years of using it. That time and familiarity has placed me firmly on the Windows side of the old tedious computer schism, the one that has zealots from all sides getting under each other’s skins and longing to get at each other’s throats— if only they’d get out from behind their keyboards <— that’s lucky... I guess.

So, to sooth my temper, I have started changing what the text-to-speech reader says whenever it encounters certain words. I think of it as word remapping, producing emotional inversion.

The pronunciation list has this format.

keypass=key-pass
keypass’s=key-pass’s

^^ because ReadPlease doesn’t say keypass correctly at all, not without help. Instead it says “keypiss”. The hyphen (-) goes a long way.

But anyway, back to this other thing. From now on, the RP list will have such entries as these:

M$=wonderful-micro-soft
stupid M$=Redmond overlord
M$ fails=MS could buy me twice over
I hate M$=my name is Bill

... and so on...

This approach is new for me. Yet it’s so basic, I don’t know why I didn’t start using it a long time ago. Everyone else has likely done similar with the text-to-speech readers they use. Still, better late than never.

I will come to LOVE Linux and Mac users, for the praise they will heap upon Microsoft from now on. : )

ETA:

Somebody asked why, if I don’t like those little ankle-biting anti-MS/Windows hate words, then why go to those places where they can easily be tripped over?

The reason should be obvious. To go with the tired old sour grapes, there is information that I *do* want. While Linux and Mac users aren’t always long on brains or love, they sometimes provide useful info, OR someone commenting in the near neighborhood, might have material that is truly valuable AND just the thing I was looking for when I needed help getting something fixed on my system.

The haters are everywhere, is what I mean to say. Geeks live in piñatas. Not everything that falls out is going to be good.

—Moon