To some, getting married is like hitting their head with a hammer many times ‘til it bleeds profusely. At times, marriage is the most mysterious, and maybe the riskiest event in a person’s life.
It’s especially true to young people who are just starting to enjoy the most exciting time of their life: new careers, salaries that can afford them to travel, buy a house, or get a brand new car.
I can’t blame them. Why throw all that away by getting married, right?
However, if you think about it, as long as you prepare wisely and thoroughly, you can embark on the most exciting phase of your life when you tie the knot.
How to prepare for marriage
1. Are you ready to be faithful?
Before even bothering to plan the reception, the DJ’s list, giveaways, the items on the feast, and setting a meeting with the staff of My Bride Fairy: a company that focuses on unique, fashionable, exquisite, and chic wedding favors, better think of the question that follows:
Are you sure you can commit to just one partner for eternity?
Ok, you say you love the lady you’re with and think you are ready to marry her. However, if you’re not tired of experimenting and exploring the world, especially with girls, you can’t settle down with a single lover, yet.
You have to stop yourself deliberately from pursuing it. Maybe don’t even consider it. At least not within this time. You should stay single if you’re not prepared to shed off your bachelor’s skin.
Be honest with yourself. Are you 100% sure she is the right woman for you (and you won’t look for another partner anymore?) Are you convinced that you can be responsible for being faithful? If your answer to the two questions is uncertain, you better stop and reconsider everything before making a decision.
It’s better to stay single for more years than settle down with an uncertain mind and heart.
2. Are you ready to manage finances with a partner for life?
A messed up financial status is one of the most common reasons for divorce. Do you think you can be a good steward of the money that both you and your future spouse can derive from your sources of income?
In case you will go through a sort of a financial setback, would you be strong enough to handle it? Today, do you consider yourself successful in managing your finances? In case you are, that’s cool. If not, try your best to improve your performance.
Read up, attend seminars and workshops, better yet, find a mentor. The faster you can learn to enhance your ability to handle finances, the better. Another matter you have to consider is to try merging your finances with your fiancée’s? That would be good practice and an excellent way to test the waters before finally taking the plunge.
3. Visit wedding websites, read books, attend workshops, and learn by observing married couples.
Good books on marriage can help you get a good background on what you should expect and what you must know about the massive event in your life you are about to dive into. Sites that cater to grooms and brides and spectacular weddings can also give you invaluable info about one of the holy sacraments.
Also, depending on the church you belong to (with regards to Christian churches, there are numerous seminars and workshops you can take to learn more about marriage.
These workshops have been studied and developed by experts, so you are assured you’ll get solid materials you can apply to real-life situations. They are a great way to have a head start on preparing for married life. There are two sites my wife and I recommend: Green Wedding Shoes and The Knotty Bride
http://theknottybride.com/, you can check them.
4. How many kids will you have?
Some individuals don’t want kids. It’s not that they hate children, it’s just that they can’t afford to have children, now because they are busy with their careers.
Too busy, perhaps that’s why they don’t want any additional responsibilities. For those who are planning to have kids, they have to consider their existing income and their future income so that they can figure out how many children they can afford to handle.
Settle this issue once and for all before saying I do.
5. Yes, religion or faith matters?
Religion is a big part of a person’s life. So before committing to a life long commitment, it’s best to review your fiancée’s faith and yours.
I know a lot of people who have given up their faith to marry the person they love. Some remain to be faithful to the religion they have grown up with, so they agree in advance how they are going to treat each other’s time when indulging in their respective religions. I have to point out, though, that mix religion is a complicated issue in one family. Hence, I recommend talking it out with your partner. Between you two, who will give up his/her religion for you to have a more harmonious church time and ultimately a more unified family.
6. What about sex, baby?
Yes, we’re tackling this issue. It’s a big part of the married life after all. “Make sure your sexuality is copacetic,” says Louanne Cole Weston, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist. She specializes in sex therapy, and her word is weighty in this area. Weston adds, “Be specific with each other and discuss what you can and cannot tolerate, and be clear on what your bottom-line expectations are around sex.”
Need I say more? She’s straight forward. Just to clarify things, throw away all those inhibitions out the window and be blunt with your lover. Sex life is a critical area of a couple’s life. However, we look at it. So, better discuss it with the one you love before tying the knot.
If you are at peace with all the answers you gave to those questions, then and only then, you can say, “Yes, I’m ready for those wedding bells.”