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Macht Schnell in Monday's Open Thread

Hello! Welcome to the M-M-M-Monday open thread, where Porky Pig talks without a stammer and kumquats ride on motorcycles without parental supervision.

Did you know that the highest paid personality on American TV is a 71-year-old woman? Did you notice that she's tapping her watch impatiently, waiting for someone to volunteer to host next week's open threads? Go on then. Be the hero.

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