My lawn was looking pretty good save ONE SPOT. The septic tank lid. And it’s so obviously there in the middle of my yard as you walk up to my front door. I spray painted it green which didn’t work well. I even tried to scatter some leaves. Like a comb-over.

Sad, sad, sad

So I figured I needed to cover it with something better. Like a wig. A TANK TOUPEE.

I bought a 3' x 3' piece of artificial turf on ebay. There are various quality and lengths so do your homework. The worst thing is a bad wig.

That’s some high quality grass right there

I made a cardboard pattern from the measurements of the tank lid. I think it was 30"


I cut it out using those bad-ass “cut everything” shears you can get at your local hardware store. They are the honey badger of shears.



I then placed it on the septic tank lid and scattered some leaves for the full camo effect.


It’s not exactly perfect but LITERALLY no one has said they see it walking up to my house. If you don’t know it’s there, it’s not there.

Now my lawn feels more masculine and confident.